“Be where your feet are.” I am not sure when or where I first heard this. Apparently, it comes from the sporting world. But for me, it means to be mindful. To be present. To focus on the things I can control. So when I am confronted with something unfamiliar or uncomfortable I can respond from a place of gratitude and love, rather than react from a place of anger and fear.
Being mindful has led me to view my expectations differently. I tend to be very hard on myself. Which is definitely a human thing. According to research, 80% of self-talk is negative. But it is one thing to have high hopes for myself and something completely different to have assumptions for others. I expect people who I am in a relationship with to act respectful and trustworthy and come from a place of kindness. Which for some is a tall order. And I have learned over time that it is completely unrealistic to expect people to have the same values and priorities as I do, no matter how close I am to them.
This is where communication comes in. Talking about my experiences, how they affect me, what my goals are and what I expect from those I surround myself with explains my expectations, to myself and others. Listening to them helps me to understand their experiences and where they are coming from. That way we can both each shift our perspectives, appreciate each other more and compromise when we need to.
Acceptance of what is, not what we expect it to be, is helping me to write my own story.